This was a match from the name swipe game; #1. Can anyone explain to me where I went wrong? Did I somehow imply that I was looking for a lesbian BDSM relationship?
TB: Hi red Sonia!
Very sexy
U got big blue eyes
[Juliet says: Way to state facts there, bro.]
DJ: I do. :)
TB: Yes
Id definitely have fun with you
DJ: Oh would you now?
Define fun...
TB: Some bdsm or maybe just a lesbian affair
DJ: I see.
Exactly how are you going to have a lesbian affair? You are a dude.
TB: Trust me you'll think I'm a lesbian trapped in a mans body
DJ: But you have a penis, right?
TB: Lol I'm a dude dun't worry I'm just not out for my nutt that's all
Oh yes
DJ: Ahhhh I see.
[Juliet says: Do I though? No. I still don't.]
TB: *Sends dick pic* See
*Sends a second pic* Here's one more for good luck.
[Juliet says: At this point I am trying to decide how to proceed; or not. Easily a 5-10min pause]
TB: Ummmm hello?
DJ: Well I wasn't asking for a picture of it!!
I was just confirming the gender you identified with.
TB: Ummmm oops sorry
My bad
DJ: You totally misread the vibe there dude.
TB: Chick! I'm sorry
DJ: Well, if MLB can allow 3 strikes so can I.
[Juliet says: This is good blog fodder, so I'll keep it going for now]
TB: Ummm ok
Only cuz ur interested
Lol
DJ: I told you I'm bored. Entertain me.
TB: I thought I just did?
And i'm no clown that juggle dildos or anything
DJ: I wasn't entertained, i was almost offended.
TB: How?
With a good time?
DJ: You send me a dick pic bro. Completely uninvited.
TB: Your lesbian huh?
[Juliet says: Yes, because if someone doesn't want to see your dick they MUST be a lesbian. Maybe this is NOT worth the blog fodder...]
DJ: I'm looking for a stimulating adult conversation. I can see now that I am looking in the wrong place. No, I am straight. However that doesn't mean I am some slut who is in any way hoping to see your junk. I don't know you.
TB: Hmmmmm!! Well this has got off on the wrong foot.
DJ: Quite, sir. Quite. I think it's best if we part ways at this juncture.
TB: Poof!
Tuesday, November 17, 2015
Mrs. Robinson
So, one of my matches from the experiment will be excluded from the results... read on to see why.
TB: Hi
[Juliet checks his profile which lists him as 45, but his blurb says "I'm not 45"]
DJ: If you are not 45... How old are you?
TB: Lol 23
When i started my facebook i put it older as a joke and idk how to change it back hahah
DJ: Hahahaha that is hilarious! You are toooooo young for me. I AM 39.
TB: Aw
DJ: I actually only have this account for blog fodder right now. But if you ever need advice from an older woman, you just let me know, mister! ;)
TB: Thank you! I will definetly ask you.
DJ: :D
29 Oct 2015
DJ: I have decided to send you weekly tips on how to woo the ladies and be a proper gentleman.
This week: grammar, spelling and syntax. You're a step in the right direction using actual punctuation. :D Just know that any woman worth her salt will appreciate the finer things like a capitalized "I" and proper spelling (it's definitely). That's all for now.
17 Nov 2015
DJ: Okay, so not weekly. She is a bad mentor. BAD OLDER WOMAN!
Today, though, let's talk about prophylactics, shall we? Did you know that some STDs can be transmitted even if you use them?
While it is true that condoms can cut the risk of transmitting herpes by half, you can still get it since the virus actually sheds outside the genital area and as a virus it can be transmitted by skin to skin contact.
So, get tested often and always practice safe sex!!
Next up...
TB: Hi
[Juliet checks his profile which lists him as 45, but his blurb says "I'm not 45"]
DJ: If you are not 45... How old are you?
TB: Lol 23
When i started my facebook i put it older as a joke and idk how to change it back hahah
DJ: Hahahaha that is hilarious! You are toooooo young for me. I AM 39.
TB: Aw
DJ: I actually only have this account for blog fodder right now. But if you ever need advice from an older woman, you just let me know, mister! ;)
TB: Thank you! I will definetly ask you.
DJ: :D
29 Oct 2015
DJ: I have decided to send you weekly tips on how to woo the ladies and be a proper gentleman.
This week: grammar, spelling and syntax. You're a step in the right direction using actual punctuation. :D Just know that any woman worth her salt will appreciate the finer things like a capitalized "I" and proper spelling (it's definitely). That's all for now.
17 Nov 2015
DJ: Okay, so not weekly. She is a bad mentor. BAD OLDER WOMAN!
Today, though, let's talk about prophylactics, shall we? Did you know that some STDs can be transmitted even if you use them?
While it is true that condoms can cut the risk of transmitting herpes by half, you can still get it since the virus actually sheds outside the genital area and as a virus it can be transmitted by skin to skin contact.
So, get tested often and always practice safe sex!!
Next up...
- Dick pics are for meathead assholes who are just looking to get their dick wet. Stick to well placed double entendres and innuendo. Always leave 'em wanting more.
The Rhyme Collector
During the name swipe experiment, I matched with a "#2" (on 30Oct) who actually had a good blurb:
"Brain cells are lit, ideas start to hit, next the formation of words that fit, at the table i sit, making it legit, and when my pen hits the paper, awwww shit." (BDK)
[#2] matched with me on tinder a week ago now, yet he hasn't even said hello. I was hoping a hottlie like him would bow, and bid a fair maiden a "yo". I'll make the first move, in the hopes that he'll grove, and send me a wink or a smile; "Dear, [#2]," I sass, "just where is your class? Your hello has taken a while."
[Juliet says: #2 is a two syllable name so I promise the pentameter is accurate!]
08Nov
TB: Badass rhyme. Complicated rhyme scheme and everything. I appreciate it.
[Juliet says: At this point, he starts to open up a dialogue. Asks me how I'm adjusting to the area and such, we chat briefly (he sent 3 messages over the course of 30min). As soon as I ask about his hobbies and what kind of law he practices... BAM. He disappears again. Interesting. So I send another rhyme.]
14Nov
DJ: Smoking some sativa on a splenderific Saturday, Beth sits on her patio to write. She wonders, how has [#2] been? I'll send another rhyme, and then...
He'll return a rhyme to her with much delight.
[Juliet says: Alas, he did not. I might send just one more rhyme ('cause they are fun to write) come this Saturday or so and then write him off. Not that I need another TB, you know, but it was nice to chat with one who used proper grammar and shit. Ah well; c'est la vie.]
TINDER RANT:
What the fuck, people? How am I supposed to accurately troll the Tinders when you don't tell me when people were last active anymore? Did someone stop chatting because they haven't been on the app in a week or two, or because they aren't interested and just were too lazy to click unmatch? What's with showing us where someone went to school instead of their activity level on the app? Isn't Tinder supposed to mostly be for trollin' anyway?
"Brain cells are lit, ideas start to hit, next the formation of words that fit, at the table i sit, making it legit, and when my pen hits the paper, awwww shit." (BDK)
6'4, lawyer, dope rhyme collector.
07Nov
DJ: I have a poem for your rhyme collection:[#2] matched with me on tinder a week ago now, yet he hasn't even said hello. I was hoping a hottlie like him would bow, and bid a fair maiden a "yo". I'll make the first move, in the hopes that he'll grove, and send me a wink or a smile; "Dear, [#2]," I sass, "just where is your class? Your hello has taken a while."
[Juliet says: #2 is a two syllable name so I promise the pentameter is accurate!]
08Nov
TB: Badass rhyme. Complicated rhyme scheme and everything. I appreciate it.
[Juliet says: At this point, he starts to open up a dialogue. Asks me how I'm adjusting to the area and such, we chat briefly (he sent 3 messages over the course of 30min). As soon as I ask about his hobbies and what kind of law he practices... BAM. He disappears again. Interesting. So I send another rhyme.]
14Nov
DJ: Smoking some sativa on a splenderific Saturday, Beth sits on her patio to write. She wonders, how has [#2] been? I'll send another rhyme, and then...
He'll return a rhyme to her with much delight.
[Juliet says: Alas, he did not. I might send just one more rhyme ('cause they are fun to write) come this Saturday or so and then write him off. Not that I need another TB, you know, but it was nice to chat with one who used proper grammar and shit. Ah well; c'est la vie.]
TINDER RANT:
What the fuck, people? How am I supposed to accurately troll the Tinders when you don't tell me when people were last active anymore? Did someone stop chatting because they haven't been on the app in a week or two, or because they aren't interested and just were too lazy to click unmatch? What's with showing us where someone went to school instead of their activity level on the app? Isn't Tinder supposed to mostly be for trollin' anyway?
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