Gentlemanly Kindness vs. Misogyny

It it a bright line? No, 'tis a very fine line. However, let me try to explain for all you "nice guys" out there who need some schooling. Look, it all comes down to WHY you are performing an act of kindness. Is it because YOU are a good person; or because the other person has a vagina?

If you open the door for a female because she is a WOMAN -- you are a misogynist.
If you open the door for a female because they are a PERSON -- you are a gentleman.

If you offer to help a female out of a car because they are a WOMAN -- you are a misogynist.
If you offer to help a female out of a car because they are a PERSON -- you are a gentleman.

Do you sense a pattern here? Good.

If you offer to help someone out of a tall car because a) they are wearing platform heels and look like they might kill themselves if they don't get help, b) you don't care what gender that person identifies with, and c) all you really want is to help them avoid a faceplant... -- you are a good PERSON.

The goal, my friends, is not even to be a "gentleman" -- it's to be a good person. If you think you are a "nice guy" because you open the car door for your date, but you are really doing it because SHE is YOUR date and you now think she owes you something for your kindness, you are mistaken, sir.

If you offer to help someone across the street because they are a little old LADY -- you are a misogynist. Is this a kind act? Yes. Would you have done the same for an older gentleman in the same situation? That is key. Sure, you're not trying to get into the little old ladies pants, but we always talk about helping a little old LADY across the street. What about the sweet old GENTLEMAN trying to get across the street that keeps dropping those same oranges over and over out of his grocery bag and no one even thinks to help him (yes, I did help him. All the asshats behind me in traffic can go around. Despite the horns honking, I threw on my hazards, helped him with the poor bruised oranges, helped him across the street (and reminded him to wash the oranges really well before eating). Now, I don't share this story to make you go "OMG, she's such a good person!" I already know that. But it is an example for all of you "nice guys" out there -- next time someone is really having a hard day, step in and do your part. Think not of what gender they are, identify with, were born as, etc. Think about how a fellow human being on this planet could use a random act of kindness. Then, you won't even just be a gentleman and I'm here to tell you, a true woman is more likely to swoon after an intelligent and kind man any day of the week, regardless of what his abs may look like in a shirtless selfie.

Remember the rule*:
"Treat a woman like a person, then a princess, then a Greek goddess, then a person again."

Yes, we girls all want to be treated like ladies. However, some girls don't act like ladies, and some don't deserve to be treated like a lady. EVERYONE deserves to be treated like a PERSON.

*I am a fan of the show Psych. I would like to thank the writers of that show for this line (which was delivered by the character Shawn Spencer, but we all know it's the writers who are the brains behind literary gold like this).