Red Hair

As part of my life shake up, I died my hair. I went with a red because I am super pale (read pasty white chick) and wanted it to look at least semi-natural (gotta keep up appearances for career, yo). I am not sure exactly what it is about dudes wanting to have sex with redheads. I inquired of a male friend of mine and he suggested it was the rarity of it all. This must be why many a conversation is opened with (in varying degrees of grammatical accuracy and/or syntax savvy) "I love redheads! Does the carpet match the drapes?"

I am always 100% honest and explain that I am naturally blonde. This is where the rarity theory starts to lose water. They don't care. I paid some lady to die my hair. Anyone can do that, or grab a box of home stuffs from (the) Target. So now when my hair color becomes a topic of conversation it pretty much spurs me into "game on!" mode. For example(s):

TB: I love red heads. ;) do the carpet match the curtains
DJ: No, I am naturally blonde.
TB: There can still be a magic carpet ride baby what yer num I want to see
DJ: Now now, not so fast, mister!
TB: Damn. lol y not
DJ: I thought you said "hopeless romantic" not "Pervy horndog" - Kudos for trying though.
TB: I'll have to remove that part jk
DJ: There is protocol to be followed, yo. Woo me. Tease me. Make me WANT to show you. That's a REAL man.
TB: If you didn't want me y swipe roght
DJ: I never said I didn't, but you have to work for it. Not gonna just throw open my legs and be like 'lookit my crack!" -- I am much more refined than that.
--- and he was never to be heard from again.


TB: hey sexy redheaded mama, does the carpet match the drapes?
DJ: Hello, actually my new apartment has laminate flooring and vertical blinds, but they are both light in color so I guess you could say they match.
TB: what
DJ: It's a joke.
TB: oh
--- and he was never to be heard from again.


TB: hey baby, love the red hair
DJ: Thanks! I paid good money for it.
TB: oh it not natural
DJ: No, just part of a life shake up.
TB: so what color is the carpet
DJ: I don't actually have any carpet, except a Persian rug in my living room.
TB: ...
--- and he was never to be heard from again.